There are some things I’m tired of fighting. One of those long tiresome battles has been with my hair. Several weeks ago I had one of those (seven year old with a pair of scissors) fits because my shaggy mop was frizzed and fugly beyond what I could stand. I have no hair styling training, or natural talent (obviously), I simply washed it, conditioned it, combed it all out strait and cut (somewhat) straight around just like mom did when I was a kid minus the crooked bangs forever captured in my school pictures in K-3rd grade. It wasn’t SO bad, but it was a severe pain and still just never looked quite right to me anyway. Well I finally stopped the fighting and took my happy ass to a stylist for a real cut and I’m very pleased with the results. You can see my new doo over in the Twitpic box on your right.

As for new plans…I’m ready to take some of the things I’ve learned and turn them into ways to help others. I’m a firm believer that real change that changes hearts and minds is carried more often by waves of love and compassion found in relationships than by clever slogans or opposition movements. I also believe that it’s time for me to put things in order with the big esteem teachings I’ve been working on and move forward with hosting Ladies Day Luncheons to share these teachings and the principles they’re founded on as well as to build relationships and support systems with and between women here in Ky who want to improve their self-esteem and confidence. I am so excited to be moving ahead with this. My heart leaps with joy that it’s coming together so well and the vision I have for it is becoming more and more clear. We have set a date for our first outing in Lexington on December 8th in Lexington Kentucky at the Olive Garden on Nicholasville Road in front of Fayette Mall. Please email thick_tnt@yahoo.com if you are interested in joining us so we can reserve seating. This is a ladies only event.

And where is all this clarity coming from? I believe it is coming from a clearer state of mind. My blood pressure problems being solved finally -along with a profound revelation in my personal life in the last week have helped to shift my vision from a hopeful one into a vision where I can see design and purpose. Add to that the wind returning to my sails with this wonderful surge of energy and it just feels so good! I hope you will stay tuned…..

I’ve been slacking on my journaling since the election. Perhaps I’m just enjoying the simplicity of the damn thing being over, or maybe I really am part of the slacker generation and it just takes me a while to get motivated. I’ve not felt motivated in a long while and honestly, I haven’t felt good either. I brushed it off as being this or that, but now after a month of being a non-smoker I find that not only has my blood pressure NOT gone back anywhere near normal, but in fact it is higher than it’s ever been. 169/118 so it’s off to the doc for me this afternoon to get it under control. Seeing those numbers when I was expecting something totally different is exactly what I needed to push me to action…I know I’m lucky I didn’t stroke out or have a heart attack before now. Geez wonder what my BP was when I was smoking? Anyway, I shall keep you posted, and be back on track with my radio show by the end of this week.

We still face as a nation so many SERIOUS obstacles to overcome. I’m angered yet again to see articles and postings creeping up on the web as to how John McCain may just win or steal this election in spite of the expected landslide for Obama. How? Between outright fraud, long long lines in primarily Democratic voting districts, and the “electoral college,” yes it is entirely plausable and possible that once again the popular vote will be completely ignored for at least the 3rd time since I’ve been legally able to vote. This troubles me deeply. 

And still even IF the people’s choice wins the election, isn’t our election system in serious need of an overhaul? Isn’t our government in need of an audit? I believe the system is faulty and needs not only repair, but possibly a brand new structure that puts the needs of the people….not corporate, banking, or lobby interests….FIRST! This will only happen when “we the people” get involved and hold our “elected” officials accountable. I’m ready…are you?

Best wishes and Godspeed. If this election is stolen like the two before it, be prepared for a revolt of epic proportions.

http://www.fairvote.org/

I came across this fantastic new site today via my twitter account where you can look for BBWs, BBW appreciators or BBW Events in your area by clicking on a state. You can also add your name to the direcory while on the page for that state! Exciting stuff? No? It’s called BBW Tweeters and with a twitter account you can also follow their page and keep up with new folks and events being added! BBWTweeter’s twitter page is here.

Special message from its creator: “Hi, I’m Sherry, and I’m a BBW who loves Twitter! I thought it would be great to have a directory where other BBWs who love Twitter - and other Twitterers who love BBWs - were listed all in one place. It’s always fun to meet new Twitterers! Twitter is great for keeping in touch with your group of online friends and for making new friends. So I decided to create a listing by state of Twitter BBWs and Twitterers who love BBWs. ”

You can also add events, parties, groups, etc. to the column on the right. Click on your state to both view events in your state and add your own!

Way cool huh?

I had a breakthrough a couple of days ago. I was meditating on all the fun things I get to do, people I get to meet, my family is amazing, my friends are phenomenal, we’re relatively healthy have plenty of blessings to be counted. But it seems the more I hope for and believe is possible, the more comes to pass and I’m being reminded daily that everything I put my hands to will bear good fruit. And each day I watch this promise come true. The more thankful I am for what I have, the more I seem to gain, the easier things come to me, the more I believe greater and greater things are possible! I don’t know how to explain it, but I just became overwhelmed with the wonder of my life, the love I feel, the gaining wisdom with the passing of time and understanding how little we really know. I realize that there has been within me a quest to know the truth. When I say truth, I don’t mean the kind of truth we associate with being the opposite of a lie or the correct answer, but rather I mean the spirit of truth, its personality as a being with a direct line to my heart that I know this truth when I experience it. I believe I am in relationship with this Truth, and I believe he/she is continually quenching that thirst for Truth in me in such a sweet way that it leaves me wanting it even more.

I shared with my readers a while back about my family’s car situation being in dire straights along with our finances. I began visualising for a better vehicle, simply picturing in my mind, the feel of being in a nice reliable, comfortable vehicle. I felt a deep sense of gratitude for the vehicle that it was just what we needed and it was just the right price that we could afford. On 10.10.08 I transferred into my name, a Buick Century with 78,000 miles on it, one owner car, immaculate condition inside and out, for $1607 and the car books for more than $3100. The best part is, it’s a more grown up car then the saturn…I swear it reminds me of a church lady car, and it’s so much more comfortable to ride in than any car I’ve had. Now that Tony has it to drive to work, we can get busy repairing the saturn so that we both have a vehicle again. So it came at the perfect time at the perfect price and was just what we needed. I’m so thankful just to have the stress of worrying about my hubby making it home safely gone from my chest, I’ve felt a sense of peace in spite of these scary economic times.

 And I’m hoping this is a sign of change in corporate media toward fat people…..and more importantly, I’m hoping to see more fat people bursting with confidence in who they are. 

You can check out more video of Fatman Scoop and his lovely wife Shanda on their website  http://manandwife.tv/ Their show “Man and Wife” appears on Mtv, but I’m not recommending you expose your mind to any other content you’ll find in that cesspool world of bleeps and advertising.

In the clip I selected, Scoop and Shanda are asked if men prefer big or skinny girls and I love their response! http://www.mtv.com/overdrive/?id=1596631&vid=291175  << in case the flash player below give you trouble.

The Prince turned back into the Beast thanks to the Bush economy and working two jobs to pay the castle’s mortgage. He and Belle are getting by these days by renting out the old dungeon to crystal meth chemists. She’s a mess chasing after those hairy kids all day and he’s always so tired…

Cinderella had an awful time with her Prince! Don’t you know, she caught him with her stepsisters having a threesome! She says she still loves him and doesn’t want to leave him, but she finds herself fantasizing about burying her face in her fairy godmother’s full bosom and wonders if maybe she’s gay….

And Snow White? HA! That chick said to hell with one same-o plain-o! She dumped her Prince for the seven dwarves stating, “A lil dickie everyday of the week” was what tickled her fancy and “they really know how to share the important things…housework, my hottness. Communal living just works for me.” She’s the poster child for the new Polyandry movement.

Is there a happily ever after like the fairy tales? Is it even like the movies, or the soaps, or the sitcoms?

Well, yes. People want the fairy tale so bad sometimes they convice themselves they’ve found it.

And no. Reality, experienced after the infatuation and lust wears off, often looks nothing like a fairy tale.

Today’s truth lesson is on love…or at least a little bit that I’ve learned and can share. I feel the need to address romantic love today as I have several friends hurting from breakups while Tony and I will celebrate our 5 year anniversary tomorrow which leaves me feeling a little conflicted. Five years to many couples is just a walk in the park, but this is my third (and final) attempt at wedded bliss (was engaged in there a couple of times too. lol) and has lasted longer than my two previous marriages put together, so YAY ME! We’ve hit at least a minor milestone, I’m still reasonably happy, and we’re still under the same roof so life is good - not perfect, but good.

I’m here to shatter your Disney, drama, and romance myths. If nothing else in life is as flat and superficial as it appears on the television, why would we believe such insanity about love? Maybe for the same reason we believe for a season of our lives that Santa or the Easter Bunny is real…everyone wants to be that special and that loved. There are too many people out there with unrealistic ideas of what real love is. What it looks and feels like is nothing like the fairy tale…ever. There is no magic, no fairy dust, no ritual or formula to make the timing, the compatability, the readiness, the attraction, and the love happen…and even when it does happen, without a solid foundation of mutual respect to rest upon, it will crumble and fall in the first minor storm.

Is this the one? Do I believe in soulmates? I really don’t know that such a thing could ever exist because I am a firm believer that we make our own choices that create our destiny. I don’t think there is any magical mojo in the air or perfect formula for finding/having/keeping true love, but statistically speaking, odds are there are probably a group of potential partners who fit ideally with each person. Finding one who is at the right level of maturity and same readiness for a relationship as you tightens the odds even more I’m sure. Add to that the identity crisis many women in this country seem to be suffering…again something I attribute to media conditioning telling girls at younger and younger ages that they need to be somebody’s somebody special before they are proven worthy and acceptable. Then, there is the identity crisis of men in a modern day feminist world, most stumbling somewhere between harrassing females and warding them off with crosses and garlic. Really it’s a wonder people find love at all in this mess of a world. I do think I have found someone ideal for me and I believe I am in the right frame of mind to appreciate the partner he is and be a good partner in return. But there are still times I miss the simplicity of being single and celibate. It seems that about the time I started really enjoying myself and my life alone, along came my guy. Coincidence? I don’t think so.

I think it’s really a matter of being healthy and complete BEFORE one enters the role of partner/spouse/SO. In the aftermath of the breakups I’ve seen, there are two mistakes I have made and seen made over and over again in with no new results and they are:

Mistake #1. Thinking you will change anything about your partner that you dislike during the dating phase. You are wrong for even thinking it. What you see is most likely what you are going to get and how fair is it to ask him/her to change. If it is a big deal now, it will be HUGE come March and overthrowing the order of your life daily before long. If you can’t deal or cope with their habits, friends, quirks, sense of humor, wanderlusting eyes, or whatever, let them go and move on. That’s right, if you don’t wake up everyday joyful and thankful that this person is your partner, keep walkin sugar, cause the longer you wait, the deeper you commit, the harder to walk away when you already know now that this situation is not good for you.

Mistake #2. Do not ever ever ever change your life to adapt to someone elses without them making the same concessions for you. I’m not saying be unreasonable, but I am saying be sure of who you are and what you want and don’t want. There have been enough martyrs, there is no need for you to give up your life or personality just to be part of a relationship. In fact, ask yourself why you would want to give up who you are to fit someone else’s idea of who you should be. Trust me, I’ve been there. I gave up friends, sold my house, moved in, invested my money, heart, and soul…bottom line I was left with nothing but resentment for all my changing…he still wasn’t happy. If he/she doesn’t get how awesome you are just the way you are, then someone else will….move along.

So this is getting long and complicated. Let me break it down into dating do’s and don’ts.

Do!
*Be yourself, genuine and authentically you. If you don’t know who that is yet, don’t date until you do. 
*Keep your feet on the ground, be safe, be smart - always trust your instincts over your genitals.
*Accept the person as they are. Yes, those flaws are in sharpie, so the choice is what can you live with?
*Expect the person to accept you as you are. Why would you settle for less than acceptance and call it love?
*Continue living YOUR life. It’s normal to spend less time with friends when dating, but make time for friends and personal interests often. This helps give you a balanced perspective and from developing an unhealthy dependency, infatuation, or fixation on your partner.
*Live on your own paying all your own bills or as a bill-paying roomate before living with a romantic interest.
*Take your time. You never really know a person until you’ve seen them through every season. I didn’t wait a year to marry or cohabitate, but I often wish I had just to establish my own living boundaries and expectations more clearly…a full year would also have given him a chance to define boundaries with his ex-wife and kids as they just starting their divorce when we met. We rushed in and have paid a high price for it.
*Be honest about how you feel.
*Learn about yourself from relationships that don’t work out.
*Work on your issues and put down your “baggage” for you.

Don’t!
*Try to change your partner.
*Give up things important to you ONLY to suit your partner. Question their motive for asking this of you.
*Expect your partner to “save” you or be incentive for you to behave. Save yourself.
*Make excuses for behavior you feel is unacceptable. If you want fidelity and expect it, demand it or move on.
*Think he/she won’t do to you what they did to those who came before you. Cheat, lie, steal…sorry baby, but they will.
*Date on the rebound or date someone else on the rebound.  Just not wise.
*Keep looking in the wrong places for love interest. Explore your personal interests and find groups/activities that cater to those interests for people to spend your time with.

All in all, I believe love is all about choices, knowing and loving who you are and being true to yourself, and sharing your life with someone who will see you through it all, someone who will cry when you fall, motivate you to get back up, and celebrate when you succeed. I’ve come to believe the most romantic gestures in the world can be the most mundane things when both partners are loving each other on the foundation of mutual respect. Other key ingredients in my relationship are heaping amounts of trust and integrity. I have to know he has my back and I try and ensure he knows I always have his. As I reflect on our five years together, the trials and tribulations we’ve faced together, I’m pleased that we have been mature enough to strengthen each other and work together in those tough times to overcome -otherwise we’d never have made it this far. Storms bring out the worst in people usually and its so much easier to fingerpoint and blame then to work through them.  In our short time together, we’ve moved 3 times, had numorous injuries and illnesses plague our family, we’ve had financial troubles, and the phrase “It’s always something.” seems way too accurate. I have to admit that through it all, if he isn’t the one for me, he’s close enough and I’ll have to just take my chances that we can make it. And if we don’t make it, I can at least say I’ve lived everyday loving him as his partner the best I’ve known how - and without any major regrets.

So there you have the magic-free truth. Don’t that just smash your Barbie townhouse to pieces? BWAHAHA!

Get to work! On you! Much love, ~Silky

My PC was giving me fits editing and it took 3 times as long to finish as it should have….I’ve been told I need to invest in a Mac if I plan to stay at this video editing stuff. The car situation has been totally resolved so I think its time to start visualizing and saving for better equipment and programs to work with. But anyway…off topic first sentence in - Happy love your body day. I do hope you’re taking time every day to give thanks for the wonderful vehicle your body is. I’m trying to get my house in order and make lifestyle changes with positive side effects for my body’s better health.
The following is my video contribution of Size Positive TV’s celebration of Love Your Body Day, 2008.

Visuals by Darrenteed Media
and EB Designs 

Illuminations
~~To show how inner beauty illuminates outter beauty! This will allow our ladies to meet in a fun friendly atmosphere. http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PhatgirlzCincy2/

$3.00 cover  - Sun Oct 12, 2008 from 1-5

The Yadda Club
404 Pike St.
Covington, Ky 41011

We will be doing each other’s hair, make-up, and nails. This will save time for the photos and bring us closer together. We are asking that you bring your make-up, nail polish, and 1-2 pieces of lingerie. This will help provide a variety for the women to choose from. Bring your favorite dish and exchange recipes.

VENDORS:
The Sweet Spot, Pure Romance, Premier Designs, Mia Bella and more….

~Corbcn2 Photographer will be taking *FREE* photos of the ladies.

We will be doing two raffles. You can buy or earn tickets.

*Earn tickets for FREE by just doing the following:
5 tickets for showin up
10 tickets for each guest you bring
5 tickets for bringing make-up, nail polish, and lingerie
15 tickets for a covered dish

***Note for the MEN: Although this is a ladies only event men CAN come watch the game in the main bar but no peeking in on us.